The REAL Stars of OAX's "Sorry" Video

Certainly not the worst of sorority- produced videos, OAX’s production of “Sorry” left us pleasantly surprised. But while you might be praising the performers’ fashionable costumes and swanky dance moves, we’re here to tell you who the REAL stars of the video are:

1) The Unamused Allegro’s Customer (:57)

Do you know how hard it is to contain yourself while “Sorry” is playing in the background? Do you know how hard it is to not pop and lock and jam and break while the incredibly fun song is pulsating around you? It takes true talent to disdainfully chew gum while resisting the danceable beat. And to wear a newsy cap in 2016.

2) Allegro Dancers (1:07)

Why are they real stars you ask? They gave it their all. They danced behind the counter so vulnerable and naked that their performances were almost hard to watch. They stripped themselves of any façade and awkwardly danced like two Jersey Shore members who accidentally found themselves fist pumping at Temple Beth Emanuel for Shmuly’s Bar Mitzvah.

3) The Ghosts of AXO Past (2:08)

Freeze your screen at 2:08 and check the window of Allegros. Do you see that? Those are the ghosts, spirits, and specters of AXO past. What incredible artistry: the new OAX pledge class called upon the spirits of their past in some sort of séance to pay homage to their foremothers. We’re not sure how the cinematographer captured this holy moment, but all we can say is WOW! 

4) The Huntsman Escalator being twerked on (2:25)

A lot of people believe it difficult to twerk. And yes, that’s true. But have you ever taken a second to think about the people and objects that have to be twerked ON? Little do you know that it takes true stamina, endurance, and stoicism not to twerk, but to be twerked on. Just ask any wall, pole, disgraced Robin Thicke, or in this case, escalator.

5) The Expressive Septa Lady (3:07)

There is no doubt that the fine riders of Septa have seen some crazy things. But this lady has had it up to here with ne’er-do-wells causing a raucous on what is perhaps the most pristine transportation system in the country. What is amazing about her performance is that she expresses a full range of emotions in a matter of seconds-something that very few actresses can do. First it’s surprise, then disdain, then blasé and finally, implicit approval. Just check it out for yourself. This girl deserves an Oscar before Leo.