Last Minute Spring Break Plans

For those procrastinators among us, planning three months in advance for a random week in March is simply too much to ask. How were you supposed to pick which Caribbean island to visit when you were busy making a semi-YouTube famous music video or thinking of questions for Caitlyn? Since there’s no way to find a villa at this hour and buying a plane ticket to Europe is basically equivalent to spending another semester at Penn, you don’t have many options. But not to fear, we have a few last minute plans, guaranteed to assuage your FOMO.

1. You’re always talking about “getting off campus”, and now’s your chance! Try walking up Baltimore Ave, and then just keep going! You’ll get to the Pacific soon enough. Beach pics for days.
2. Alternatively, sand (and going anywhere above 45th Street) is overrated. Instead snap a few pics rolling around in the mulch and dirt outside VP (Bonus: if it rains, it’s essentially a free mud bath. Your skin will thank you).
3. Midterms have you living in VP anyways so why not continue your streak over break. Test it out so when you inevitably forget to organize your housing next year you’ll have a plan B.
4. Those friends who seem to be perpetually lying out on College green? Yeah, they may have been wearing Birkenstock's and sandals since late January, but they also booked their Grand Canyon spring break around the same time. That means you're stuck with the 4 hour and 9 minute drive to the (self-declared) Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania. Find out if it's worth its 3-star Yelp rating!
5. For about the cost of returning that library book you forgot to renew two weeks ago, you can buy a one day Septa Independence pass. Pretend you’re in San Francisco and ride around on the trolley or take a train out to the Main Line and visit 47% of Penn.
6. Go on the campaign trail. Take some videos. Make national news and a few late night talk shows. Ride out that fame and run for president in four years. You're welcome.
7. Instead of spending the dough to rent a car, take a cross-country road trip on one of these babies. Have a friend ready to pick you up if/when you're bullied off the road or catch on fire.
8. Going home? Become a real sister to your sister and spend the week decorating her room Big/Little Week style. Force your dog to strip for her and pledge harass your brother into bringing her Fireball shots every hour. Your family will finally understand why you wanted to join a Greek organization!
9. Spend the week making a geotag for your apartment so even if you literally never leave your house, it still looks like you've been somewhere cool.
10. We'd say catch up on some homework but given procrastination was what got you here in the first place, we'll see you cramming in the library Monday morning.

Good luck making the most of next week. Keep in mind that for the next month its socially acceptable for people to fill awkward pauses in conversations with questions about break. For your own sake try and come up with an adjective other than, "good".