Most Depressing Places On Campus Volume XIV: Harrison Elevators

It's a bleak time of year at Penn: midterm season. Before packing their bags for PV or any other spring break plans, many a weary Penn student must first endure the great pain and strife of the midterm. As this danger approaches, the student must decide where to study. One such locale may be the Harrison Sky Lounge. If this option is chosen, the student must embark on a great journey.

Like any other journey, the voyage to the lounge at the top of Harrison first entails the crossing of the threshold. In the Illiad, Achilles must leave for Troy. In Star Wars, Obi-Wan and Luke enlist the help of Han Solo and his Millennium Falcon to get to Alderaan. In the journey to the top of Harrison, the student must face the Harrison elevators.

Upon looking at the elevator, it's unassuming. Not beautiful, not offensive. The trip to the top floor, however, is a different story. It's an excruciating ride, filled with strange noises and constant shaking. Around floor 18, the student becomes unsure if the elevator is going to make it. He pictures himself stuck in the elevator, with little hope of rescue. He contemplates his mortality...his essence...his midterm. The student drifts off into abyss, realizing the futility and absurdity of life. 

Then, the student reaches the top floor. All seems well...until he realizes that he must make the same trip back down. Maybe he'll take the stairs.

Probably not.