No Puerto Vallarta, No Problem: Alternative PVs For Spring Break

Puerto Vallarta. So ubiquitous a spring break destination for the Cool Kids™ of Penn that it goes by a shortened, simpler moniker: PV. Where are you going this spring break? PV. Where'd you spend your vacation? Oh, in PV. But people often forget that there are other places in the world named PV. 

Go to any of these lesser-known vacation destinations, and you still get to say you spent your SB in PV.

• Penobscot Valley, Maine: This scenic, remote area is ideal for an early March getaway. Aside from a country club and school of gymnastics, the area offers Penobscot Valley Plastic Surgery. You can go on break and literally come back a different person.
• Port Vila, Vanuatu: If you've never heard of Vanuatu, you don't belong at Penn. A small chain of islands northeast of Australia, Vanuatu is home to one of the most accessible large shipwrecks for scuba diving, the wreck of the SS President Coolidge. Don't like swimming? That's fine, there's lots more to do, like looking at cattle or putting sand in your mouth and spitting it out. The plane ride is only 23 hours long!
• Pleiku, Vietnam: This was an important strategic city during the Vietnam War, so the city is rich with history. That is, people died all around here and it's probably super haunted. Great destination for someone looking for an authentic experience-- tourists are likely few and far between.
• Pedernales, Venezuela: Home to the country's only Ford factory. Need we say more?
• Puerto Vallarta Street, Toms River NJ: What's cool about this street is that if you spend two minutes driving on it, you can tell all your friends how "cool Puerto Vallarta is" and you don't even have to rely on the ambiguity of the abbreviation.
• Palmyra, Virginia: County Seat of Fluvanna County. Population 104. This should be a last resort.

Honestly, you can't go wrong with any of these. Remember, it's not about how much fun you have. It's about how impressed other people are when you tell them you were in PV.