Red Solo Substitutes: Other Things To Play Pong With

Imagine a pong game-- what do you see? A number of red Solo cups, perhaps arranged in triangular formations on either side of the table, is probably what you thought of first. So it makes sense that running out of red Solo cups really kills the vibes. We've all tried to play pong with different cups, and it's usually a bummer. Not all replacements are equally terrible, though. Here are some alternatives that just might rival the red Solo experience.

• Empty Black Bean Cans

Goya, Bush's, Ortega, even Great Value-- use the brand of your choice. These heavy, alloy cans are ideal because of their heft and their relatively large openings. Feel free to cook and eat the beans, throw them out, or even leave the beans in the can a game of Bean Pong. Please note: pinto beans would also work.

• Cowboy Boots

Works great if there's a lot of people wearing cowboy boots at the party. No true cowboy would object to his boots being filled with beer and used for sport.

• The Emptiness You've Felt Since Jessica Left You

She was your everything, and now you've got nothing. Fill the hole she left in your life with beer, and then try to throw ping pong balls into that hole.

• Containers (Ideally, Tiny Hats) Held By Small Monkeys

It's cute, and everyone loves monkeys holding out hats like they want a donation (or a ping pong ball!). While it isn't particularly sanitary, neither is regular beer pong.

• The 1995-96 Chicago Bulls

Arguably the greatest team ever to grace the hardwood of a basketball court, the 95-96 Bulls don't have a lot to do these days, except watching the Warriors threaten their season win record. Take their minds off of basketball by having NBA greats like Pippen, Jordan, Rodman and Kerr lay down on wooden boards with their mouths open to catch pong balls. 

• Penn Men's Varsity Basketball

While the Quakers aren't quite as strong on the court as the 95-96 Bulls, their mouths are probably about the same size as those of the Bulls, and would make another decent, if less star-studded, substitute for red Solo cups. Speaking of solo, how's Jessica doing?

• The Holes In Ukeleles

Cut the strings off, and put beer in the instrument. No one ever wants to hear one played in public, so this is probably the best use for ukeleles. At least, that's what Jessica always told you when you tried to serenade her. She could be cold, but you loved her so much.

• The Cups Penn Gives Out With Drink Measurement Lines

Nothing too special about these cups, but it feels so right to drink irresponsibly while using cups designed to promote doing the exact opposite. They're also free.