Professor Apologizes To Students For Stoned Lecture

It's never a good time when you realize how high you were/are and have to apologize to other people. It's not somewhere you want to be, so we feel you Unnamed Professor.

The irony is that the professor has nothing to apologize about. His class was probably stoned too (and not even accidentally, so there's no good excuse). Let's face it, microeconomics goes down a bit easier if you're at least a little bit high. Everything is a bit more elastic and you really feel like you can internalize those externalities, man. But we digress.

For anyone else who was stoned in that class, we've drafted a short sample email that you can send to your professor, apologizing for your actions during class:

"Dear Prof XXXXX,

I'm sorry about my lack of attention in lecture today. I apologize for spending what I thought to be 45 minutes staring at the palm of my hand. I also apologize for eating an entire, party-sized bag of Cool Ranch flavored Doritos. It was loud and uncalled for. And I'll make sure to ignore the notes from today, mostly because I didn't take any. I look forward to checking the notes on Canvas and seeing whatever the hell you were talking about.

Thank you,

[Your name]"