Other Things We Wish Protestors Would Shut Down

At this point, most people have heard about about a speaking event featuring CIA Director John Brennan being shut down by protestors. Among their chants were "The CIA is a terrorist organization," and "drones kill kids." Of course the actions of these protestors are controversial, with no shortage of supporters and critics. However you feel about their actions, there are some things we all wish would be shut down by protestors.

• Acapella shows

It's pretty arrogant to think that your voice is better at sounding like a guitar than a guitar is. Why do you think anyone invented musical instruments in the first place? A drum is designed to be better than some sweaty dude yelling "dum, dum" every two seconds while his friends snap.

• Campus tours

These big groups walk around slack-jawed and wide-eyed while a freshman tells them all about Penn history and how great the food in Commons is. None of the kids are getting into Penn, anyway.

• Spring Fling

Who is 3lau and why are we paying for him? Also, floor passes sold out in like ten seconds every flash sale. SPEC is a terrorist organization.

• Passover

Drones may or may not kill kids, we don't want to take a stance on that topic. But what definitely kills kids is having to sit through the entire story of the exodus from Egypt before you can have dinner, and having to eat matzo instead of normal bread all week.

People say there's a fine line between constructive protest and destructive disruption. We don't really care which one you use if it prevents an unnecessary acapella mashup.