Top 10 Stoner Majors

10. Biochemistry -- How else are we going to engineer new, dank strains of the stickiest of the icky? The world needs Biochem majors.

9. Religious Studies -- Focused primarily on Rastafarianism. But also all other the other religions can get their toke on.

8. Earth Sciences -- This one is obvious. You ever just feel mother earth just wrap you in her arms, man? Do you hear the music of the wind and the trees? Magical.

7. Environmental Science -- stoners love the environment, because weed grows in it.

6. Mathematics -- 420 is a number and math is all about numbers, dude.

5. Fine Arts -- anyone who has ever done art loves to smoke weed. Ever heard of Michelangelo? Ever heard of Pablo Picasso? We have no proof that either smoked but we have to assume.

4. Individualized Major -- classic stoner move to reject all the options and make your own, worse option but pretend it’s better than the alternatives.

3. Philosophy -- if there’s one thing stoners are good at, it’s thinking way too deeply about specific and obscure ideas that no one else wants to hear about. Philosophers probably also eat snacks sometimes… munchies much?

2. Music -- violinists are always carrying around resin. You thought it was pine resin? Think again.

1. The Weed Smoking Major -- this little known major is Penn’s best kept secret. You get credit to smoke weed and all your research papers are King Size Raws. Just speak with Amy Gutmann directly to declare this major.