5 Tips for Protesting Ben Bernanke

Hey all you Whartonites, aspiring economists, and people who are way into monetary functions! Ben Bernanke, former chairman of the Federal Reserve, is in town and will be giving a talk at Annenberg tonight! Unfortunately, some people don't feel the Bern(anke) and might disrupt the event, prompting a passive-aggresive email from Penn administration. 

Because we don't love anything more than we love disorder and disruption, we thought it might be helpful to provide you with some helpful tips on how you can protest Big Bad Ben Bernanke. Here are some ways that you can rebel against the man!

1. Seize the means of production and overthrow the bourgeoisie
   • We all know that the capitalist machine is oiled with the blood of the working class. What better way to protest the former chairman of the FED than uniting the urban proletariate against its capitalist masters? We can't think of any. WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!
2. Advocating for fiscal policy
   • Bernanke is the former monarch of monetary policy. If you really want to hit him where it hurts, assert your dominance by disavowing monetary policy and advocating for the waayy better economic tool: fiscal policy. Why mess with reserve requirements when you could jam with some government spending? Fiscal policy is revolutionary, and so are you.
3. Rant about the Gold Standard
   • Bernanke has famously debunked the benefits of the Gold Standard but he's clearly wrong. Not really sure what the Gold Standard is or why you want it? No worries! You don't need to know what you're talking about to protest against something! Just yell a lot about Gold and how this country needs to go back to the "old ways".
4. Insist that planes are better than helicopters
   • Screw helicopter economics, you love planes! Planes are so much cooler than helicopters and you could arguably drop greater quantities of autonomous dollars onto the shiny, happy people below. Convince the crowd of your position by running around the auditorium with your arms out while making "whoosh" sounds.
5. Stop believing in money
   • Our economy is founded on the idea that money is worth something. Realize that fiat money has no intrinsic value and dismantle capitalism! If you stop believing in the power of the dollar, Ben Bernanke is powerless against your superhuman powers! It's the final blow. Ooh that'll make Bernanke's head spin!

We hope that we've provided you with some perfectly rational and reasonable ways to protest Ben Bernanke! Have fun and make change!