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Things I Will And Won't Miss About Penn

By CHARLOTTE CORAN

May 5, 2016 at 11:00 am

What up, Penn? I know you're used to reading UTB's third-person point of view – we are of the people! – but it's Charlotte Coran here, and rules don't apply to me. Follow along as I break down the things I will and won't miss about Penn in the last post I'll ever write for UTB. 

10 Things I Won't Miss About Penn:

  1. Locust Flyerers
  2. My writing sem professor telling me she'll drop my grade an entire letter if I'm late one more time 
  3. The concept of "a downtown" v. "downtown" (I prefer the latter, but just know that a walk through Rittenhouse followed by brunch at Parc with your mom during Parents' Weekend doesn't mean you've really "explored Philly") 
  4. The lack of outlets in any and all study spaces
  5. Trump's association with our school
  6. The fact that getting food from Auntie Anne's isn't socially acceptable 
  7. Anything SPEC-related (seriously, why hasn't Robyn headlined Fling yet?) 
  8. The card minimum at Metro
  9. The excessive amount of feta Greek Lady puts on its vegetarian gyros 
  10. The practice of ordering apparel for every single social event (why the fuck do I need to commemorate a charity volleyball game with an ill-fitting Gildan tank?) 
  11. *BONUS: The Tab

10 Things I Will Miss About Penn:

  1. Bridge Café egg sandwiches
  2. The Stuffed French Toast bagel I get from Schmear It every Wednesday
  3. The feeling of turning in a paper that I actually worked hard on and of which I am quite proud (this probably happened only once or twice, but still)
  4. Allied Barton security guards (and Penn Police, too, I guess)
  5. The extensive assortment of beverages in Gourmet Grocer
  6. The distance from my apartment to 7-11
  7. The fact that one of my professors gave my class her personal cell phone number and texts with us
  8. WilCafé 
  9. The bald CVS guy
  10. Like 7 people

All jokes aside, though, it has been an honor to keep the Penn community informed these past four years. If you are as much of an asshole as me that you think people might care what you have to say, then consider applying to write for UTB in the fall. I've made a lot of mistakes these past four years, but joining UTB was never one of them.

And if you don't want to write for us, then at least read us. We have low self-esteem. 

CharCo, over 'n out

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