Beware Of Airborne Sea Creatures

You’re probably pretty stressed right now. NSO is done, Made in America has passed, it’s OCR szn, it’s date night szn, you can’t seem to  find anything tight, and now you have to worry about avoiding flying seafood while you’re walking down Locust

Just yesterday, unfortunate civilian Lisa Lobree was slapped in the face with a 5-pound catfish while walking by a tree near the art museum. Don’t think this couldn’t be you. Lisa could be anyone. Signs that you might have been hit by a falling catfish include a cut on the face and an intense smell. Lobree herself noted, “I smelled so bad afterwards. I smelled disgusting.”

Keep your wits about you, Penn students. Let’s keep our campus safe.