CAPS LOCK MALFUNCTION RESULTS IN AGGRESSIVE EMAIL TO PROFESSOR

Communication is a key component of everyday life. Something as simple as a broken caps lock key can make the difference between a pleasant, respectful interaction and an overtly aggressive one. Jacob Edwards (C'20) recently learned this lesson.

"IT WAS JUST A SIMPLE EMAIL TO MY WRITING SEM PROFESSOR," says Edwards. "I WAS HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH SOME OF THE DIRECTIONS ON AN ASSIGNMENT, SO I DECIDED TO SEND AN EMAIL," he continued.

The email reads,

"HELLO PROFESSOR

THE DIRECTIONS FOR THIS WEEK'S ASSIGNMENT ARE UNCLEAR. I HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ASKING OF ME AND, QUITE FRANKLY, VIEW THE ASSIGNMENT AS A COMPLETE AND UTTER WASTE OF MY TIME. I DIDN'T WORK THIS HARD TO GO TO PENN AND THEN BE HANDED SUCH A MUNDANE AND USELESS EXERCISE. PLEASE HELP CLARIFY THE INSTRUCTIONS SO THAT I DO NOT WASTE ANY ADDITIONAL TIME ATTEMPTING TO COMPLETE THIS USELESS TASK

SINCERELY,

JACOB EDWARDS" 

The professor responded with harsh words about Edwards's email, calling him "disrespectful, aggressive, and uncouth". Edwards was dumbfounded. "I WAS IN NO WAY AGGRESSIVE OR DISRESPECTFUL. THAT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION," he lamented, screaming at our reporter. Edwards blames the caps lock malfunction for the misunderstanding and has tried to explain this to his professor. At the time of this article, the professor has yet to acknowledge the caps lock malfunction as a legitimate excuse.

We reached out to the professor, who refused to comment in either lowercase or uppercase letters.