Rooster Party Leader Cocks Over Fellow Class Board Candidates

Elections for student government took place last week. Oh? You don't care? Neither do we, usually, but some people really care. Some people care to the extent that they will sue their peers in NEC court for personal gain. We won't delve into the intricacies of the NEC code because neither of us gives a shit about that. However, we will call out some shady behavior by a member of UTB's favorite political party of the rooster variety. Don't say we didn't warn you about these guys.

This past weekend, Rooster Party member Matthew Schnitzer, certified Blazer Boy, brought charges against two of his fellow candidates in a successful effort to eliminate them from the election. His ex-opponents were favored to win the election before being disqualified. Schnitzer has publicly stated that he intended to create a "level playing field" and that he acted in the best interest of the student body. We at UTB (most likely along with most of the people at the hearing on Saturday) call bullshit.

On the Rooster Party Facebook page, Schnitzer admits that his motives may seem "dubious". He's correct in his assessment and we applaud his astuteness. During his testimony, Schnitzer reveals that he had known about the violations for some time before the election. If he had filed his complaint at the time of the violation (as many did throughout the election), his peers would have been asked to rectify the problem with no serious consequence. However, Schnitzer withheld his complaint until after the election, forcing the penalty of disqualification upon his peers rather than actually working to solve the problem in real time. It was clear from the hearing that his moves were calculated and his motives less-than-honest, with one member of the audience pretty much asking him directly about why he was being so damn shady (in other words, of course).

Eliminating your two main competitors (and two of your five total competitors) is not "leveling the playing field," it's creating a new field that makes it much easier for you to win. We don't expect the Rooster Party to understand the distinction, because they can't even understand the distinction between the DP (a news publication) and UTB (a satire blog).

We wish all of the freshmen a happy reelection. We are sincerely sorry that you couldn't have the Ben Franklin Blowjob kid or the other guy. But at least you can have a rooster that looks a lot like a snake.