Finally! Penn's Ichthyology Department Just Released Its Annual 'Worst Fish' List

Penn is known for a lot of things: Wharton, the Wharton School in Philadelphia, and the infamous-yet-beloved undergraduate business school Wharton. Less known, for no good reason, is Penn's strong ichthyology department. 

Ichthyology is the study of fish, and Penn is a world leader in the field. Once a year, our ichthyology department releases a definitive roundup of the worst fish in the world. No one knows exactly what the criteria is, or whether the fish are aware of these annual rankings, but the ichthyology community across the globe awaits the list with bated breath every year.

Check the list out below, complete with explanations taken directly from the department. Here's the source: fish.upenn.edu/list-of-shittiest-fish. Please be aware, ichthyologists use crude language in their scientific writing.

"1. Blobfish: these deep-water dwellers are ugly as all hell when out of water, pretty ugly still when in the water, probably taste terrible, and are nearly endangered because they keep getting caught accidentally by deep-ocean trawlers. Here's a tip: just avoid the nets, idiot.

2. Kissing gourami: not a bad fish generally, but the fucker wouldn't stop trying to kiss me. If I was interested in kissing a slimy fish, I'd kiss my ex-husband Michael. This fish lays eggs which hatch in a day, and the babies are swimming a day later. The parent fish do not take care of the children, just like Michael.

3. Upside-down catfish: as if catfish weren't bad enough, my dude insists on swimming upside down. For what though? It's hard to tell when they die because they're always belly up. The upside-down catfish is truly a loser of a fish.

4. Crow: never seen one swim, technically not even a fish at all. The crow is a scavenger, hungry for any bloated, stinking piece of meat it can find. Remind you of anyone, Michael?

5. Monkeyface Prickleback: commonly mis-identified as a variety of eel, this guy is hideous no matter how you want to identify it. My ex-husband also has a monkey face, is so slippery and disloyal that you'd think he was an eel, and I'm never taking him back."

Wow. Another year, another great list of the ocean's worst fish. The blobfish made the list three years running, but the crow is an interesting addition. We're already excited for next year's rankings.