Clinton and Kaine Are Coming To Penn, But Like...Why?
October 22, 2016 at 4:20 pm
As many of you may know, everyone's favorite Democratic presidential nominee, Secretary Hillary Clinton, will be holding a rally at Penn Park tonight! Accompanying her is America's "cool" step-dad, who takes you out for ice cream after the big game cause you "tried your best, champ", Governor Tim Kaine. While it's cool as hell that Penn students and Philadelphians (and maybe some people from Jersey) will get to see the, most likely, next president of the United States, we're not quite sure why she chose to come here. . .
Philadelphia is very much "With Her", and has been with every other Democratic nominee since 1936. She's pretty much got this one in the bag when it comes to Philly/Penn. Even The Daily Pennsylvanian, has endorsed her. The Statesman is still holding out, but maybe they endorse her too.
Unlike all these publications, UTB is staying true to its promise to support the only qualified candidate: Vermin Supreme (who we'd like to remind you also endorsed our endorsement). We're "With Verm", we "Feel The Verm", and we truly think that only he can "Make America Verm Again."
However, while we will always support the Vermin/Joe Exotic ticket, we do appreciate the visit Hillary.