Columbia Band Drops Weak Diss Poem During 35-10 Loss To Penn

During Penn football's 35-10 victory over Columbia this weekend, the Lions' band seemed to make bigger waves than their football team.

At halftime, a member of the Columbia band surprised the crowd with a never-before-heard single over the loudspeakers, perhaps signaling an upcoming album. The single is a Penn diss track (spoken-word style) with punchlines about The Donald’s connection to Wharton and the OZ email fiasco.

The band made some good points: Trump sucks, OZ sucks. But some points were pretty weak, too. Here are just a few of the issues we saw:

1) Trump was a transfer, and his two years here were half-assed. Considering him representative of Penn is a bit of a stretch.

2) Trump’s biggest mentor is Roy Cohn (the eventually-disbarred mob lawyer behind Joseph McCarthy’s notorious communist hunt and the questionable execution of Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, among other things), and Cohn actually has two degrees from -- you guessed it -- Columbia. Apparently, he created the Trump we know today.

3) No hook? Weak. How can the Columbia band expect radio play if there isn't a hook everyone can sing along to? Much like the football team, this track is going nowhere.

4) The third-grade rhyme scheme was disappointing at best, including slant rhymes and employing an ABCB pattern.

5) No features-- they couldn't even get Future on the track. Future will hop on just about any song, it seems, but not this one. Serious miscalculation on Columbia's part.

6) Penn rules, Columbia drools.

Overall, though we do see potential, the song was a creative attempt that fell short due to weak delivery and amateur lyricism; we give it a strong 2 to a light 3.