The 8 Most Devastating Losses Of The Rodin Flood

Rodin flooded late last week, thoroughly ruining everyone's Thursday night. While the damage was great across the board, here are the eight most severe losses of the evening.

1.) Those Management notes you never took: The slides are online so why bother? You never took notes in that class, but if you had they'd be super gone.

2.) Kyle's virginity: Things were going so well until that massive amount of water started flowing out of the ceiling.

3) Your freshly filled-out  I-9 and W-2 forms: You landed that sweet work study gig but now you have to call your parents and ask them again what your social security number is.

4) That nice shirt that your ex gave you: They left a gaping hole in your heart but at least they got you a nice shirt. Now both the shirt and your hopes of finding love again are kaput. Maybe it's for the best-- Ed Hardy isn't as nice as you think it is.

5) That last glimmer of light behind your eyes: Things have been rough lately with midterms and you thought that you had made it through. Smooth sailing from here on out. Nope.

6) All the yeast you left on the floor: You should have known that spreading all your Red Star Active Dry Yeast across the floor of your living room to check for the USB drive you lost was a bad idea, because it's ruined now. Good luck making bread, idiot.

7) Your USB drive: It was in the yeast, after all. Now the drive and the yeast are both gone. Don't leave your USB drive in the yeast, next time.

8) The witch on the 12th floor: We all know witches melt if they get wet. RIP to the witch on the 12th floor of Rodin, who just wanted to get a degree in chemistry and buy a house in Long Island one day.

If you need help replacing any of these items please contact Rodin's house office at (215) 573-3576. If you lost anything illegal or embarrassing, email us about it at tips@underthebutton.com.