Wanna Avoid Getting MERTED? Don't Go To Gregory

UTB has been alerted of some high-profile information regarding everyone's favorite Medical Emergency Response Team, MERT. While they handle many a drunk student, they tend to handle a ton from Gregory College House in particular. Why is this? Are Gregorians much worse at handling their liquor? Do they have a tendency to drink away their sorrows of not being admitted into New College House?

Probably not.

After careful consideration, we've determined the cause: That Goddamned Gate. That Goddamned Gate in Gregory is hard to swipe into when you're sober let alone when you're proper 'faced. That Goddamned Gate prevents even the most seasoned Gregorian from being permitted entrance after many an attempt. Naturally, a sloshed Gregorian will have an even harder time, prompting the front office to call MERT. 

So, if you're absolutely fucked, don't go to Gregory and face That Goddamned Gate. It'll be a sore way to end the evening and will just kind of disrupt anyone else trying to swipe in.