Club Penguin Users Support Hillary For President

First, we strategically looked for the best place to poll other penguins. Obviously, we chose the “Blizzard” community because it is the most popular among users and has the best Igloo parties. Then, we took Penguin UTBforlife straight to the plaza. All the penguins chill here because there’s easy access to the Pizza Parlor and Pet Shop, and we all know shit goes down when you’re trying to buy the best colored Puffle Pet.

Unfortunately, there weren’t any preset conversation words related to “2016 Presidential Election” and we soon realized Club Penguin censored the words “Trump” and “Clinton” (side note- how does one get a job as a Club Penguin word censurer? Do you have to case for it? Asking for a friend). So, we had to get creative.

After shouting “Donald or Hillary?” multiple times and declining several requests to return to other penguins’ igloos, Penguin UTBForever finally got some answers. One penguin asked if we were referring to “Donald Duck” to which another penguin replied “read a book”. This led to a full on snowball fight in the middle of the plaza. Did we or did we not tell you shit goes down in the plaza?

Overall, we at UTB found a total number of 14 penguins were in favor of Hillary Clinton while 8 penguins were in favor of Donald Trump*. After further investigation, we found those penguins in favor of Trump were more likely to torture their Puffle Pets and yell profanities after losing in the sled game.

There you have it, folks. Politics from the ground up. If you take away anything from this post, it’s that you should go out and vote. The users of Club Penguin certainly aren’t old enough to do so themselves. We owe it to them.