25 Things More Exciting Than Attending An Ivy League Football Game Sober
On Saturday, Penn football was shut out at Princeton, 28-0 — the first time the Tigers have shut out the Quakers since a 21-0 loss in 1978.
Credit: Ananya ChandraNovember 4, 2016 at 2:37 pm
Thanks to a history of reckless behavior by Penn students, there will be heightened security, including liquor enforcement, at the Penn-Princeton football game on Saturday, meaning if you want to cheer on the Quakers, you will have to do so fully conscious (which sucks).
Here's a list of things more exciting than attending the game sober.
- Watching someone watch paint dry
- Icebreakers
- When they get your order wrong at McDonalds
- Nebraska's 3rd Congressional District
- The fly episode of Breaking Bad
- The foreword of any book
- Mark Ruffalo not coming to Penn
- Amish Nascar
- Empty podiums on C-SPAN
- Gourds
- 1830
- Allegro at 2 PM on a Tuesday
- Right angles
- Gluten-free bagels
- A colonoscopy
- Respectful political discourse
- TEDx Flint
- Decaf coffee
- Gofundmes that raise no money
- The Odyssey Online
- Any TV show about being Amish
- Linux
- So You Think You Can Be An Actuary
- Typing "5318008" on a calculator and flipping it upside-down
- Peaceful transfers of power