This Article Isn't Satirical: Go Vote

Seriously, go fucking vote. 

Fire up Google, figure out where your polling place is, and cast your vote. It's your duty and your responsibility as a US citizen. If you're an international student, bang pots and pans together to wake up your American housemates and bully them into voting. There's no excuse. 

Who you choose to vote for is your business, and your business alone. Whether you're voting for the Orange Horseman of the Apocalypse, The Great Email Disappearer, those other two "viable candidates", or a write-in of your choice, the important thing is that you get your ass to the polls and fucking vote.

Vote. Please. You're fortunate enough to be afforded the opportunity to shape the future of this country and the world. Don't piss it away because you're disgruntled or because you think that your vote doesn't matter. 

If you're somehow grossly informed after this past year-plus of political hell, here's a voting guide from our nerdy cousins, The Daily Pennsylvanian.

Go vote.