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Club Penguin On The Issues: Gun Control

By LILA GUTSTEIN

December 8, 2016 at 3:29 pm

This week for Club Penguin On The Issues, we asked other penguins what they thought about gun control. The feedback was surprisingly weak. We have some potential conspiracy theories as to why Club Penguin users didn't respond to such incendiary comments:

  1. All the American CP users were at school. This left us with the international users from different time zones who probably felt less connected to the issue and perverted weirdos who were too afraid to type back a response in fear that the police would find them, and ask them why the hell they were on Club Penguin in the first place.
  2. The Big Government, in conjunction with the Liberal Media, is backing a huge censorship campaign that forbids all Club Penguin users from talking about their 2nd Amendment Rights and anything that could lead to the realization that climate change isn’t real.
  3. All CP users are children and don’t care about anything except igloos and puffle pets.

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