What's With Asparagus?

What's asparagus's deal? What's going on?

It makes your pee smell weird, that's a fact. However, only certain people can smell it because, apparently, the ability to smell asparagus piss is genetic. What's with that?

Is it a grass? It's not not a grass as far as we can tell, but It does have some definite girth to it that is not shared by other grasses. How did we first go about eating it? Who looked at asparagus and went, "I should eat this monster grass." What's the deal?

Why in the actual fuck is it a Crayola crayon color? Modern science can't tell us much about asparagus, but we at least know that it's not a fucking color. 

Scenario that never happened:

Mrs. Benson (your second grade teacher that was low-key mean to you): "Little Jimmy, what's your favorite color?"

Little Jimmy: "Asparagus!"

Mrs. Benson: "Wow that's a great and also a very real color choice!" 

End Scenario

After much consideration, we at UTB are no closer to figuring out what is with asparagus. If you have any information please tip us at tips@underthebutton.com