Don’t Ignore These Lesser-Known Fraternities During Rush
January 13, 2017 at 3:52 pm
Rush is a stressful time for anyone seeking to validate their value as a human being, and it’s easy to get caught up in joining the “coolest” or “least-rapey” fraternities. However, many options exist beyond your run-of-the-mill, binge-drinking bro-brothels, so be sure to consider these lesser-known frats this week.
The Real Crows: you know about Crows, but have you heard of their literal counterpart? For those who feel that Castle’s membership is too heterogenous, this incredible band of brothers consists of 100% real crows. Ravens are also welcome, because no one is quite sure of the difference.
A frat full of those people who you’ve met once but are not sure if you should acknowledge in passing so you pretend to check your phone in order to avoid eye contact whenever you see them: what a great group of guys.
Jewish: don’t miss one of the 5600 Jewish fraternities at Penn.
The Sewers: so called “underground” frats get a bad rap, but don’t confuse them with Sewers. Thanks to a charter from Philadelphia’s Water Infrastructure Management, the Sewers organization utilizes all 3000 miles of pipeline under the streets of the city for brotherly activities, like treating septic shock. Awesome!
Joe Biden’s Next Frat: whichever offers the most free ice cream during rush.
Roman Clubs: while the Greeks were all about sissy stuff like brotherhood and treating women as property, the under-represented Romans are the real deal. Enjoy gladiator battles, conquest, and judgement-free public baths.
Under the Button: simultaneously considered the lowest- and highest-tier organization on campus, UTB is perfect for those who don't wash their hands after using the restroom. Apply here by 11:59 PM on January 18th!