Did Russia Hack PennInTouch?

PennInTouch, famous for being very important to those who want to know when and where they need to be for class, was overloaded and inaccessible on the first day of classes. Who could be so dastardly, so malicious as to throw a wrench in the academic workings of Penn? There is no one to blame for PennInTouch’s ill-timed shutdown than Sarah Palin’s western neighbors.

In keeping with its pattern of interference in the American presidential election, the Russian objective must have been to stunt the intellectual growth and academic success of Penn students, future American leaders. It's a long term strategy, to say the least, but it sounds exactly like something Putin would do. Missing the first class or being unable to add/drop means lower grades, stress, and unwanted classes, which will slightly hurt the professional futures of those affected.

Russia can meddle in our elections and mess with the analytics of our student newspaper, but it can’t stop us from pursuing the Penn dream: a DRL-free schedule, without class on Fridays.