How to Get Kicked Out of Class Now That the Drop Period Is Over
February 23, 2017 at 10:46 am
In case you didn't hear, the drop period ended last Friday. That means that you or one of your loved ones are stuck with the crappy fifth class you planned to drop, or the pointless-but-demanding elective you regret signing up for. But are you really stuck? Think outside the box.
While your situation may seem hopeless, there is one one very simple way to get out of any class: getting kicked out. Here are seven foolproof ways to ensure that you will be asked to drop the class.
1. Sit in the very front of the room but, instead of paying attention to the professor, take out your favorite newspaper and start reading, completely obscuring your face and blocking the view of those behind you.
2. Every 5 minutes, ask your professor a question that he just finished answering in his lecture. Alternatively, finish his sentences for him and high five him when you correctly guess what he was going to say.
3. Bring a waffle maker to class and make yourself breakfast every morning. Then, start a food fight by throwing the waffle, and maybe the maker, at your fellow students.
4. Bring your pet turtle to class and speak to it as if it were human. When questioned, insist it is a support animal.
5. FaceTime your mom while the professor speaks. It's been so long since you've spoken to her, she'd love to hear from you.
6. Watch The Office or a related NBC comedy TV show at maximum volume. Do not bother turning down the sound, as that would only distract your viewing experience. Please note: this will only work with comedy television series produced by the NBC television network.
7. Dissect a squid in your theater class and act out the entirety of Hamlet in your biology class. Get kicked out of both.
Now that you have been kicked out of class, make sure you have a way to spend all that free time. We recommend lifeguarding—it's always a great backup plan.