UTB Reviews: Two-Hour Intro To Beekeeping Workshop 2017

**note: Although the event has yet to take place, we weren’t planning on going anyways, so this premature review should suffice.

The latest in UTB reviews sent us to the Francis Cope House for a Two-Hour Intro to Beekeeping Workshop, hosted by the Philadelphia Beekeepers Guild. Before heading to the event, we did some research to be a little more prepared on what to expect: Though the Philadelphia Beekeepers Guild has but one written review on Facebook, it’s a rave: the reviewer denoted it as the “Best Bee Club in Philadelphia! Really. It is.” Immediately, we were convinced. We packed up our protective gear and headed out.

Upon arriving at the event, we were greeted by the President of the Guild, who introduced himself as Don Shump. UTB collapsed into a fit of giggles at this classic parody of Donald Trump’s name, followed shortly thereafter by 45 seconds of awkward silence as we realized that was his real name. We quickly apologized and shook his hand, which was rather wet, probably because he washed his hands recently.

The workshop started with a review of Bee-ology and Bee-havior, during which most of us started feeling the symptoms of our Narcolepsy cookies (we fell asleep, is what I’m saying). That was followed by Hive Management, at which point Don Shump turned it over to the wildly better qualified Wharton students in attendance. Despite their self-promoting mention of the Goldman Sachs Awareness Dance Marathon, we thought this part was very informative and would probably look really good on a resume. After that, we practiced swarming, a skill we’ve become pretty good at due to Joe Biden’s appearances on campus. Finally, Don certified the attendees as beekeeping experts and gave everyone a plastic bee - which we all safely put on a leash because we’re Aware of Pet Theft.

Overall, the event was definitely worth the $35 plus $2.92 purchasing fee, because we didn’t pay it since we didn’t go. If you’re looking for an ideal activity for a Lin bonding day or perhaps a budding romance (@TheStatesman), this is probably not the event for you.