Dumb Freshman From California Reportedly "Excited" For Blizzard

It's only March, but we've already found a strong contender for Idiot of the Year.

Early reports indicate that Alan Mazzuli, an ill-informed and oblivious freshman in the College from Bakersfield, CA, won't shut up about how "excited" he is about the snow, which UTB's meteorologist has predicted to be apocalyptic in effect. Despite all signs pointing towards at least 36 miserable, frigid hours in which no one will leave their home, Mazzuli insists that he "can't wait" for the snow.

Sources close to the situation told us that Mazzuli keeps talking about "making snowmen," "snowball fights," and "making snow angels," apparently forgetting that winds are projected to reach 40 miles per hour and that none of his friends will want to go outside, if they're even able to. "I might even try to make snow ice cream," he told us, completely unaware that the snow will be filled with dirt, salt and trash a few hours after it has fallen. 

"In California we don't get snow, so I'm really excited," Mazzuli gushed, unwittingly exposing himself as an idiot with little to no understanding of cold weather or its effects. "This is the first good snowfall of the year, more or less, and I want to take advantage of that." 

Mazzuli's peers tell us that he "probably thinks everyone will be sledding on Locust Walk, or something," like he is "some kind of huge dumbass." One of his neighbors in the Quad, who attended high school near Philadelphia, told us that "nor'easters aren't magical, they're debilitating" and that Mazzuli is a "confirmed numbskull."

At time of press, the freshman was still "totally stoked" for the snow, like the imbecile that he is.