Rodin to Install Foosball Tables and Televisions in Elevator Waiting Areas

After months of student complaints about elevators in Rodin (and all the other high rises), things came to a head this weekend when only one elevator appeared to be running. Students experienced frustratingly long wait times, whether they intended to go up-- or even down. For a long period of time, many students found it difficult to get in and out of their own home. 

Complaints about Rodin are both abundant and varied, but the elevators seem to be a universal frustration. Thankfully, Penn Residential Services has a plan to deal with this.

"We think students are really going to love this idea," said Burt O'Call, a spokesperson for Residential Services who met us in the rooftop lounge of Rodin to chat. "What has been the chief complaint of Rodin residents this year? No, not the occasional lack of hot water or the notable flood damage. The biggest complaint is about elevators. Specifically, elevator wait times are long and boring. Finally we have a solution!"

Residential Services has taken an interesting approach to the issue, to say the least. Instead of addressing the issue of wait times being "long," they have chosen to address the "boring"-ness of waiting for the elevator.

"Over the next week we're going to be installing TVs, foosball tables, and more fun diversions near the elevators on every floor, so that you don't have to be bored while you wait," O'Call told us. "And because the wait is so long, you'll have enough time to play a full foosball game. You're welcome!"

O'Call assures us that the televisions will always be screening things Penn students will love, like live displays of the NASDAQ or Bee Movie memes from a YouTube playlist curated by a 13 year old. "We know what Penn students like and what they don't, and we are very good at listening to our residents," he said. "I don't anticipate any issues."

When asked about how foosball tables will impact traffic flow in the lobby elevator area, O'Call was quick to change the subject. "We're also planning on putting whiteboards in the elevators to play tic-tac-toe or draw on while your elevator stops on every other floor," he offered. "We're really sparing no expense to make this a better experience for all involved."

At the end of the interview, the UTB reporter and O'Call were forced to wait fifteen minutes for an elevator to get down from the rooftop lounge. He smiled nervously, and asked: "If only we could play some foosball, am I right?"

Note: In unrelated news, we have just received reports that tuition will be raised an additional 6.8% next year.