Student "Doing Work" on College Green Accomplishes Literally Nothing for Four Hours

When College freshman Mindy Hill arrived in front of College Hall with a blanket, books, a laptop, and three friends who live on her hall but she doesn't really like, she was fully expecting to be productive. But after four hours, the only thing she'd succeeded in doing was achieving an impressive sunburn.

Problems started almost instantly for Hill. The New Jersey resident quickly realized that she couldn't see her computer screen, even on full brightness, in the blinding sunlight. She tried tilting the screen and shielding it with her blanket, but her efforts were in vain. It wouldn't have mattered much anyway, because she'd forgotten to charge her computer and it died within the first twenty minutes of the "study-sesh". Hill and her friends had failed to realize that there are only no power outlets easily accessible in the grass.

The issues didn't stop there. The slightest breeze caused major disruptions for Hill while she tried to read, and the incessant chatter of her hallmates made focusing on homework difficult. In total, she was struck by six frisbees while on College Green, leaving her bruised and potentially concussed. 

Moreover, Hill's need to take a photo for Instagram soaked up more than an hour as she carefully arranged her study materials to best capture a #SunnyStudyDay pic without tarnishing her Insta's aesthetic. She didn't end up posting the picture, because by the time she was finally satisfied, it was past prime posting time. All in all, the day was a failure. Hill doesn't see it that way, though.

"I mean, it was still a good use of my time, even if I didn't get much done," Hill assured us, despite the hundreds of pages of reading she is now behind on and the essay she failed to start. "You can't put a price on a nice day in the sun with your friends," the sunburnt freshman continued, grimacing to imply that she would in fact put a very low price on the day.