These Joe's Ain't Loyal

It started in October. He charmed us with his surprise visits. We would hang out with him outside Perry World House, take selfies, and then he’d push us out of the way to talk to someone else. Regardless, we’d walk to our PSCI-001 and MGMT-205 classes with a smile and a new background picture on our phones.

Then, in December, it got more serious. This is when he announced that he would “set up shop” at Penn. As time passed, he visited us more often - Irvine auditorium was a staple endeavor. We’d meet, he’d share his wisdom, we’d laugh at his jokes. It all seemed so simple. “We thought that we were all in agreement, that he’d settle down,” said student and avid Joe Biden fan, Tara Lorenzo (N '18). “The Penn Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement was supposed to be our new future together.”

Then came April, and we realized that Joe Biden, the man once worth waiting outside for hours to see, had recently announced that he would speak both at Cornell University’s Convocation and Harvard University’s Class Day this year. Were we not good enough? Were we not his one true Ivy League school? Does he not respect the unnecessarily bitter nature among the Ivies in order to self-validate generations of highly competitive and generally elitist students? It just doesn’t make sense.

Regardless, we hope the former Vice President gets the last Hurrah he’s been hoping for before finally settling down at Penn. I mean, we get it, Joe. We’re not the only ones on your mind. You have places to be and we respect that. You are not the only one who has commitments, though. We, too, have trips planned and people to meet-- even if we're mostly on College Green getting no work done or trying to scam our future subletters.