Junior Who Worked on Trump Campaign Disappointed That He Didn't Meet Russian Officials

This takes workplace red tape to a new level.

College junior Matt Walker interned with the pristine and issue-free Trump campaign early last summer. While he found it to be a hugely beneficial internship, the best internship, he did have one major issue with his time at the GOP. 

"I'm just super bummed that I didn't get to meet any cool Russian officials," he griped to UTB on Monday. To Walker, it seemed like everyone else got to hang out with the Russians but him. He felt left out. "I get that not everyone gets to work directly with Russian intelligence officers, but I thought that I would at least get to hang out with a hacker or two. This is the Trump campaign, after all," Walker huffed.

Reportedly, even Jerry got to work with the Russians, and his parents aren't even that rich. This infuriated Walker, who is currently planning on double majoring in Political Science and Economics after dropping PPE last fall.

He confronted his manager directly about the issue, specifically requesting to be placed in a position that would allow him regular content with the Kremlin. His manager became bright red, began to sweat profusely, and babbled about how of course that's not a real position and that Hillary Clinton sucks at using email. "I get what he was saying, but it kinda just seemed like a cover-up and deflection rather than an actual response," Walker lamented. 

With this in mind, Walker decided against furthering his career by interning in the White House. "As valuable as an experience as it was, my work ends with the campaign. I've decided to devote my energy elsewhere to more worthy and moral causes." Sources tell UTB that Walker's has begun work for the True America Lobby, an organization that seeks to relax laws surrounding clubbing baby seals.