Study Shows Self-Worth Is Directly Linked to GroupMe Likes

A study published in the Journal of Social Media (Except Not Twitter Because Who Uses Twitter Anymore) this past weekend contains a life-changing discovery. Your self-worth is directly tied to the number of likes you've received on your GroupMe comments.

UTB has found that anecdotal evidence amongst Penn students confirms this result wholeheartedly.

"Oh yeah, on Thursday I sent a sick meme to my groupchat and 14 people liked it," said Caila Stewart (N '20). "I don't even care that my dog ran away and that I'm on academic probation! I've never been happier."

Unpopular comments appear to have the converse effect. "Three weeks ago, I suggested that we do a club BYO. Only two people liked it, and there's 63 people in my club," said a rising junior (who has chosen to remain anonymous in order to protect his identity). "I'm humiliated. I haven't gone outside in 17 days." 

After some thought, he added, "Maybe it was because I said I was making the reservation at Tarka."