Revenge is Sweet: Student Signs Mortal Enemy Up for Every Club’s Listserv

Cathy Jones (C ’20) has had a hard life; on top of getting rejected from Wharton Collaborative Consulting club and failing statistics, she also found herself at odds with one of her hallmates, Lily Hitchock (C ’20). Cathy and Lily have never gotten along. They always end up wearing the same outfit from Urban, going to the same coffee chat for the same internship, and stealing the hall’s only available washing machine right when the other person is about to use it.

“I hate her,” said Cathy about Lily and also Lily about Cathy. Cathy, however, wanted revenge for what she considers the last straw in their strained relationship. “Not only was she interviewing right before me for a coffee chat, she spilled coffee on me right before I was about to interview. More importantly, who even orders coffee at a coffee chat?”

She needed a plan, a way to really show Lily that she is not to be messed with. As she walked around the SAC fair, the perfect idea came to her. She looked up Cathy’s email from another club that they're in together (which Cathy claims Lily should not have gotten into because her application “sucked”) and went around to every club’s table and gave it to them. “Yeah, it took forever and I missed one of my classes for this, but I hope it’ll show her.”

Reports state that Lily’s buzzing phone can be heard in all of her classes as she receives email after email for each GBM, BYO, and speaker event. “Honestly, I don’t care!” said Lily happily, “Now I always have something to do, whether it’s BYO-hopping from one club to another or being a committee head for like 9 of these. This is actually awesome.”

As of now, Lily is thankful towards Cathy for signing her up and the two might be on the path to becoming friends. We will check back in with Lily halfway through the semester to see if this friendship lasts or if her unintended extracurricular overload has caught up with her and her academics.