50-Year-Old Man Uses Penn Crushes to Catfish Freshman

College freshman Julia Gibson is super single. Like, she dumped her high school boyfriend of 2 years over the summer so she could wouldn't be tied down in college, and she's not sad about it at all. She also thinks she might be almost on the way to talking to this one guy, but she's not sure yet. So when she was tagged in a Penn Crushes post last night, she was thrilled.

"My friend Gemma saw it," Gibson recounted. "It said: 'to the cute girl in huntsman forum wearing the stan smiths, wanna get coffee sometime?'"

"Look, I just knew it was about me." Gibson explained. "I was like… I studied in Huntsman forum for 45 minutes yesterday before I remembered there are no outlets and it’s kind of a shitty place to study. And I was definitely wearing my Stan Smiths. Or wait… was I wearing my Superstars? Um, anyways, that's besides the point."

"It was like this guy just got me, you know, because I love coffee! Arabica, am I right? So I was like, 'Yes, I'll get coffee with you, Penn Crushes poster! Meet me at Starbucks Under Commons tomorrow at 6pm, and get me a grande Caramel Macchiato.'”

But when she rolled up to Stommons, she did not like what she saw. "Yeah, it was this old dude who actually looked kinda dad-hot but not rich enough, and also he got me my Macchiato hot, not iced. So I left pretty quickly."

When we asked the man, who wishes to remain anonymous, why he was using Penn Crushes in the first place, he said, "Oh yeah, that was supposed to be about a different girl, but I felt kinda bad."