9 Things That Should Count for the College Language Requirement

Recently, The Daily Pennsylvanian published an article that detailed an Undergraduate Assembly proposal to count CIS courses toward the College Language requirement. As much as we love any idea that makes it seem like CIS students at Penn have the capacity to communicate with others, we would argue that the University is not doing enough (unlike the administration’s normal response to problems, which is consistently thorough and effective). Here are 9 things we believe should count for the College Language Requirement:

1. Whispering: It feels like no one knows how to whisper anymore. What happened to the good old days, when hushed whispers were the biggest thing in town? Today, people speak loudly in the library and don't even try to be quiet at sleepovers. The class on whispering would have to sit close together in a small room, obviously.
2. Bird Calls: It’s not all "CaCaw" and "Chirp." The complicated study of bird tongue is something that too few students encounter at Penn.
3. Whatever Language "Pret a Manger" Is in: While no one is sure what language it is, we're sure that correctly pronouncing Pret a Manger is difficult. Many have tried, but few have succeeded. Learning that language, whatever it is, should be worth something!
4. French.
5. Fidget Spinners: Just doing cool stuff with your fidget spinner. It's the language of the youth!
6. Funny Sounds With Your Mouth: Gulping audibly, whistling obnoxiously, and making clicking sounds with your tongue and the side of your mouth all communicate things that mere words cannot accomplish.
7. Dance: The universal language.
8. Penn State Lingo: When people think you’re cool because they think you go to Penn State, you’re gonna need to know some lingo to keep up the facade. These courses will be pertinent for years beyond college.
9. Memes: In this day and age, memes are rising to be one of the most prominent means of communication. Students who find themselves constantly asking their friends what a certain meme is referring to are at risk of seeming ignorant or just plain stupid. If a job interviewer asks you about your favorite Hooded Kermit meme and you can't answer, it's game over.