Guest Columnist | I'm Bored of Ranting to My Facebook Friends, So I'll Do It Here Instead

Hi. It's me.

Some of you might know me from my witty, insightful Facebook posts on current events. I explore a huge range of topics, from political culture to policy to politics. I have expertise in some of these subjects, but not most. Still, I manage to have a strong opinion on all of them. My preferred style of writing is the 5-paragraph essay (à la middle school), but I have been known to mix it up with a single-sentence paragraph on occasion. Edgy, right?

You may be wondering why I'm writing here, if I enjoy writing Facebook posts so much. Simply put, I'm suffering from low engagement on my posts (through no fault of my own, of course). There are only so many times you can post inflammatory political arguments on social media before people just stop responding.

Having heavily flamed several DP columnists in the past, I realized that I ought to write a column of my own to show those plebeians how it's done. As someone with opinions, I know I am eminently qualified to write in the opinion section. Evidently, the kind folks at the DP saw this, too. (Take that, Hannah Bluth!)

As a parting lesson, remember the wise words of John F. Kennedy: "You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime." Similarly, I believe you can give a columnist an obligatory like and please him for a minute, or engage with him in the comments and be partners in discourse forever!

I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts as much as I enjoyed writing them. As long as they keep inviting me back to write more, I will.