Sad: Student Got an A in 'Negotiations' but Has the Smallest Bedroom in His House

Negotiating is an art form: you offer one thing, they offer another, you compromise, nobody’s happy. But Wharton Junior Michael Bell obviously missed some lectures of his Negotiations class, because he ended up with the worst room in his seven-person house.

"I really tried to use the strategies that I learned in the class," said Bell. "But they didn't fall for the 'take-it-or-leave-it' tactic when I demanded the largest room. They just said I should leave."

Bell's roommates said they tried to compromise, offering to adjust rent based on room size, but Bell refused, instead employing the strategy of making huge demands followed by small concessions. "Eventually he just conceded to the highest rent and the smallest room. I don't think he knew when to stop conceding," said one of his roommates.

Even though he ended up with, objectively, the worst living situation, Bell said not all of his negotiations were bad. "I got a section of the fridge without a lot of frost, so that's nice."

Bell's situation calls into question the effectiveness of some life skills classes at Penn. For example, my roommate Jerry took a meditation class, but still can't CHILL the FUCK OUT about ONE dirty dish in the sink for LITERALLY one minute. To be fair, he only got an A-.