Here's What Penn Crushes Would Look Like If It Didn't Reject Submissions

It happens to the best of us. You submit a beautifully crafted ode for your favorite hottie to the Penn Crushes page. You check the page regularly, eagerly waiting for it to appear. But alas, it never does.

We know that Penn Crushes censors submissions, and we're thoroughly disappointed in them. But what kinds of posts would the page have if everything were accepted?

1. The incomplete submission

Michael M. is what?????? Every Michael M. on campus would spend the rest of their days questioning who and what he was. Good on Penn Crushes for not accepting things like this.

2. The sexual submission

This is why texting exists, guys.

3. The advertisement

You know that clubs would do this.

4. The catfish

Ew.

5. The mildly stalker-ish submission

There's no doubt that people have submitted stuff like this. Maybe Penn Crushes is to be commended for keeping the page as wholesome as possible.