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BREAKING: Rodin College House Is Missing

rodin
Construction at Rodin College House and Dubois College house.

Campus awoke to quite a surprise this morning: Rodin is missing!

Rodin College House, one of three high rise dormitories for upperclassmen, disappeared overnight.

Now, the 784 residents are scrambling to figure out where it went. All 27 floors of Rodin are missing. Common areas, lobbies and the Rodin Rooftop study lounge are also nowhere to be found.

Penn Police Detective Mark Bell is leading a missing building search. “I drove as fast as I could to the address of Rodin College House, and there was no building there,” Bell said. “So the building is definitely missing.”

“We have officers combing the city for Rodin’s 27 lounges, 12 laundry rooms, cafe, two music practice rooms, computer room, movie screening room and game room,“ Bell continued. “And of course, we’re keeping our eyes peeled for the concrete, rebar, and glass that constituted the outside of Rodin.”

Rodin College House contained 818 beds, 256 toilets and 384 couches. They are all missing.

Until Rodin is found the Rodin Jewish Cultural Studies Residential Program, Rodin Leadership Residential Program, and Rodin Arts Collective cannot return to their titular homes.

The University has offered Harrison College House in exchange for information leading to the safe return of Rodin College House.

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