Wharton Students Can Now Book Tables at Starbucks Under Commons

Finally: No more awkward laps and no more unplanned run-ins with your freshman roommate. Students can now book a table at Starbucks Under Commons — if they are in Wharton, that is. As of next Monday, Starbucks Under Commons will officially be renamed Jon M. Huntsman Hall Under Commons.

Penn rolled out plans for the change in policy just yesterday. “We noticed a distinct lack of available study space for students on campus,” explained Richard Schwartz, the vice provost of student affairs. “So we thought, let’s give Wharton students another designated study space to clear out more space for other students elsewhere. It’s like trickle down economics; they learn that in the College, right?”

Wharton sophomore Jillian Collins, said the change was long overdue. “I spend at least 15 minutes a day searching all three floors of GSRs to find my reservation. Room 360? That’s a long escalator ride. A table at Starbucks is much more convenient.” Most Wharton students echoed Collins’s sentiment. “Thank goodness I finally have a place to study,” Wharton junior Michael Wilson said. “I almost went into VP last week.”

The majority of non-Wharton students were upset by the new policy, calling it “exclusionary.” “It doesn’t make sense that Wharton students are able to reserve public space,” said College senior Ben Sherwood. Engineering junior Erica Smith noted feeling displaced. “Where am I supposed to go now? The Starbucks on 39th? The Starbucks on 34th? The other Starbucks on 34th?”

In light of the controversy, Vice Provost Schwartz had the perfect solution: “A Campus Conversation.”