Op-Ed: I Would Order a Pizza, but Only if Somebody Wants to Share it

Let’s get straight to the point. I would order a pizza. Right here, right now.

But... there’s a caveat. I will only order a pizza if someone is willing to share it with me.

I am not hungry enough to eat an entire pizza. But if you have a few slices, I can have a few slices. If there are leftovers, I will put them in the fridge and eat them tomorrow.

I do not really care where we order it from. Any of the nearby pizza places are acceptable. (I’d prefer if we didn’t do Papa John’s, but I will compromise if you feel strongly.)

I am also completely flexible on toppings. Some of my favorites are peppers and onions, pepperoni, and olives. I have also had pizzas with mushrooms or sausage, and those were pretty good too. Anchovies and pineapple are my last choices, but I would eat them if that’s what you really want. Of course, cheese is perfectly fine as well.

It’s late. We’re hungry. I know you don’t feel like walking somewhere to get food. So let’s order a pizza and share it.

The ball is in your court. If you wish to eat pizza, I will order a pizza. If you do not want pizza, we won’t get pizza.

It’s do or die. The pizza places close in a few minutes. So let’s work together and make this happen. Do you want some pizza?