"Brunch Is An Occasional Treat," Says Dude Who Gets it Twice Per Weekend

Connor Adler (C ’19) tries hard to be frugal with his spending. When it comes to going out for costly brunches with his friends, he makes sure to monitor his consumption.

“Brunch is really an occasional treat,” Connor said. “It's a fun way to reward yourself every once in a while.”

But there’s something fishy about Connor’s monk-like brunch asceticism: He usually gets brunch twice per weekend.

“If I wake up on Saturday with a nasty hangover, I’ll sometimes organize a nice brunch with my friends,” Connor said. “I will also do that if I have a hangover on Thursday, Friday, or Sunday.”

“Brunch is great for celebrating someone’s birthday,” Connor said. “It’s also a good way to commemorate anniversaries, half-birthdays, bank holidays, equinoxes, solstices, and weekends.”

Connor routinely splurges on lavish brunch accouterments, such as pastry baskets or specialty coffees.

“Brunch is a special way to unwind,” Connor said. “It’s not really a huge deal if I add a $6 basket of banana bread and a mocha.”

Connor has also been documented repeatedly ordering carafes of hand-squeezed juice.

“I’m not going to drink champagne straight at 11 a.m. Are you crazy?” Connor said. “Brunch is a special thing, so it’s OK if I get the juice.”

Connor maintains that his brunch regimen is one of rigid self-denial.

“Brunch is just a nice way to kick back once in a while,” Connor said. “It’s nice to stop and say ‘Hey, you deserve this apple crepe.’”