Global Warming Fanatics: How Do You Like Me Now?

Hey science-nerds, I bet you’ve been dreading hearing from me ever since it got cold out. Because now that the frigid weather is here, your little “theories” and “calculations” are being blown away by the cold wind. You people were so caught up in your ideas that the world is getting hotter, and now you walk outside and it’s cold out! You must feel so stupid! I’ll bet you gave away all your winter coats because you never thought you’d be needing those again, but turn on the weather channel, dorks. Pull up your weather app or maybe even step outside for a *hot* sec, four-eyes. It’s freaking cold out.

Looking back, I can smile knowingly about your frantic yelling and waving your arms in the hot weather. “The accumulation of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere is causing the average temperature of the planet to increase,” you said. “Human activity is contributing significantly to the rising water temperature.” Ha! There was hope in your eyes back then. You thought you had everything figured out, like some regular Jimmy Neutrons. But I knew that I just had to be patient, that soon your foolishness would be apparent to everyone. At long last that time has come, and you virgins have finally been exposed as the liars you are!