Confused Junior Starting to Believe He Got a Haircut over Break

Sam Mercator (E ‘19) doesn’t really think much about his hair. Between problem sets, side projects, TA obligations, and entertaining his pet rock, his hands aren’t just full, they’re starting to suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome.

Returning from Thanksgiving, something seemed strange.

“I don’t know what happened,” a visibly shaken Mercator told our reporter “but wherever I go, people keep asking me if I got a haircut. At first it was just my friends… but then, my professors, my academic advisor who’s definitely never seen me before, and then a couple squirrels on Locust.” Sam paused, visibly swaying. “Maybe I need some sleep.”

“At first I just laughed it off,” a subsequently rested Sam related, “I didn’t even leave my room during Thanksgiving weekend. But everyone seems so convinced… shoot, maybe I sleepwalked to a barbershop or something?”

At press time, Sam remembered he was bald and subsequently changed his name.