Williams Café to Offer an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup

Cucurbitaceae? More like, Cucurbitabae.

As the leaves turn to red and as everything you put in your mouth turns to orange, a campus staple is making a huge change. Williams Café has just announced a brand-new Autumnal offering: an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup. You'd have to be out of your gourd to not love this drink.

"Fall is here, and the coffee industry is going insane," says WilCaf General Manager Armano Murrey. "Cafés all across town are coming up with newfangled seasonal drinks, and we need to keep up with the market. Thus, we've added an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup to our menu."

It's an exciting change to be sure, but what's in an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup? As the reader may suspect, the drink is prepared by first juicing an entire medium-sized pumpkin using an old printing press that was uncovered behind a fake, Scooby-Doo style bookcase in the Henry Charles Lea Library on the sixth floor of Van Pelt. The juice is then put in the refrigerator overnight to steep, because that's a thing we are doing now. After steeping, the juice is poured into an inadvisably large cup and served.

 "There's no actual coffee in the drink," Murrey admits. "But it still bears just as much resemblance to coffee as the seasonal drinks of mainstream coffeeshops." 

At the moment, an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup can be yours for just $24.99. It's a pretty steep price point, but Murrey needs to capitalize on every single sale. Not only is it a massive drink, but he suspects that it may not attract too many repeat consumers. His concerns rose as test drinkers have described an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup as, "oh yeah, this is what raw, unseasoned pumpkin tastes like."

WilCaf hopes that their new offering, an Entire Juiced Pumpkin in a Cup, will bring them to the cutting edge of seasonal beverages, but how will they follow up for the Winter holidays? 

"I don't wanna give anything away," Murrey whispered. "But I'll give you a hint... Peppermint sticks soaked in hot water overnight."

They're working on it.