'Finals Were Brutal This Year,' Says Guy Who Had Two Take-Home Literature Exams

Most people at Penn work hard, but finals season always separates the most exceptional (and busy) students from the rest. Victor Palmer (C ‘20), a Pittsburgh native, has faced more a far more grueling, demanding end of the semester than the majority of his peers.

This semester, Palmer’s excruciating finals schedule consisted of not one, but two take-home exams for his introductory-level English Literature classes. Both were due on the last day of the finals period, and Palmer's other two classes had no finals. This was still a notable step up from previous semesters, when Palmer’s final exams consisted of blog discussion posts and coloring book activities.

According to Palmer’s roommate Rick Lee (E '20), who is double-majoring in electrical engineering and nanotechnology and had 8 finals this year, Palmer could be spotted “frantically pacing around the apartment at 4 am night after night, struggling to come up with the perfect witty title for his essay on Pride and Prejudice.”

Palmer, who was initially planning to major in English Literature, is now contemplating switching his major in order to avoid such a difficult finals schedule in the future. “I’m thinking maybe Communications or Slavic Studies,” he said. “I don’t think I can handle the academic rigor of literature anymore.”

Sources say Palmer is currently registered to take a course that may, potentially, have a sit-down final next semester. Get some sleep, Victor. You'll need it.