"Food Nowadays has too Many GMOs," Says Junior, Regular Cocaine User

Genetically modified organisms, or GMOs, are crops that have been genetically engineered for various reasons. They are so common nowadays that it is often hard to avoid them in place of organic foods. One junior, however, is adamantly taking a stance against the domineering presence of these genetically engineered foods on the shelves of grocery stores. Sara Clemson, a junior studying Cinema Studies in the college, strictly eats organic food items and finds GMOs absolutely awful.

Clemson, who has been on an organic diet for the past six months, has a strong conviction against inorganic foods. “I just prefer things directly from nature; I like my fruit organic, my vegetables grown locally, and my cocaine pure,” Clemson claims.

As one might expect, it isn’t easy for Clemson to maintain this diet. She has to get all of her groceries directly from the Farmer’s Market, and her cocaine is sourced from honest, local Colombian farmers. Clemson may have to pay a bit extra, but she is confident that the results are worth it. “When I’m eating 3 meals a day, and using cocaine multiple times a week, I want to make sure that there are no preservatives or GMOs, and that my coke isn’t cut with any bullshit,” she told us.

A stance as strong as Clemson’s is hard to come by, and we at Under the Button commend her for being a woman who firmly stands by her principles.