Student Tries Chicken Over Rice From Every Halal Truck on Campus, Is Shocked to Find They All Taste the Same

Wharton Junior Tyler Lang’s quest began the way most quests do: with a passion for helping others and an inexplicable urge to become obese. He decided last week to join the ranks of altruistic self-enlargement legends like Tom, the "Human Trash Can," and Bob, the guy who eats terminally ill dogs as a form of euthanasia.

However, Lang’s mission was a little simpler than those of his predecessors. His goal? To find the best chicken over rice at Penn.

Aware of the rapid pace of scientific research, Lang knew he didn't have long to survey the field and report his findings before someone else did. Lang spent the whole day running between the approximately 47 halal food trucks on Penn’s campus, purchasing and eating a chicken over rice platter at each one, occasionally with a side of existential dread.

Twenty-two thousand calories later, Lang had discovered what many had long suspected: there was no difference whatsoever between the different trucks’ food.

Though disappointed in the lack of innovation in the halal food truck industry, Lang nevertheless accomplished his main goal: becoming obese for science.