'Broke' College Sophomore Gives iPhone X Two Thumbs Up

Caitlyn Finnigan (C ’19) is so broke. Last night, instead of going to Chipotle with her friends, she had to stay in and make Easy Mac at home.

“Oh my god, I’m such a starving college student,” laughed Caitlyn. “Wait let me show you— I have like two cents left in my bank account.”

Caitlyn whipped out her brand new Space Gray iPhone X, complete with high-tech facial recognition, 5.8 inch OLED display, and luxurious glass screens, and pulled up her PNC mobile banking app.

“Look at how much I bursar-ed at the bookstore. Textbooks are so expensive. RIP my bank account, right? Like who knows when my card is gonna decline next.” The sophomore giggled and tossed her $1000 dollar phone back into her backpack.

When UTB reporters asked Finnigan how she financed her new phone, she responded, “Oh, my parents got it for me for Christmas. I definitely give it two thumbs up. It’s totally worth the money.”

Being the penny-pincher that she is, Finnigan downsized her iPhone X from 258 GB to 64 GB, and opted for a phone case with only 5-feet drop tested protection rather than 10-feet.

“I’m all about balling on a budget. Don’t even get me started on the price of alcohol. I usually end up stealing handles from frats because I just can’t afford it otherwise,” explained Finnigan. “Wait, look at this photo of me and my friends drinking Everclear! How great is this photo quality, by the way? The Super Retina display really helps you see the photos clearly.”